Today was the day we were originally scheduled to go and hear the baby's heart beating. Nathan had it on his calendar and we had it on ours. I crossed it off his calendar but you know Nathan....he remembered and brought it up today. He again expressed his disappointment. The other day when I was sad he said, "I just wish the baby stayed in your tummy and then came home with us." My reply? "Me too."
This week has been a crazy week and I find it easier when I keep busy. When I sit and think...the tears come. Yesterday was Valentines Day and I had my first check up. The doctor said I am doing well and healing well. Then Nathan had OT at home. I made a yummy roast beef with mashed potatoes and roasted cabbage and carrots with honey onions for dinner. All served with a red wine gravy. It was great!
Today Nathan had more testing and then we went to Target and all got Icee's.
Tomorrow Nana needs to take her car to the shop so she will be coming by. Thursday, Nathan has social group. Friday, Nathan has Theraplay! Ahhhh. This week is busy. But again, it's easier to keep busy.
I would have loved to have gone to that appointment today and heard a little heart beat but the Lord knows.....He knows our wants and He knows our pain. He sees the tears no one else sees and He feels our brokenness. I still have that song stuck in my head.... "Earth is a dessert drear...heaven is my home...."