"I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to give you a hope and a future."

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Monday, September 24, 2012

Boring Updates

Ok, so maybe not boring updates but updates none the less.  I haven't blogged in a while because when you have a 6 years old, a 5 year old, and 7 month old it just so happens you don't have as much time to blog! Go figure.

Let's start with Nathan.  I can't believe I am the mom of a 1st grader!  That just seems so...strange.  My baby? In first grade?  No way!  But Nathan is in first grade and doing so well.  His teacher sends home a list of 100 words to "practice" and he knows nearly all of them.  He has only missed a few here and there.  He is up to 500 words now.  His teacher said once he hits 1,000 words she will have to figure something else out for him to do as reaching 1,000 words is the end of the year goal.  Yet, it's only September and he is halfway there! 

Nathan does get to go to 3rd grade reading.  He says the other kids in 3rd grade call him small and want to know why he is there.  But he enjoys it.  He still gets physical therapy for low muscle tone and balance issues.  He still sees the psychologist once every 6 days to discuss social issues. 

On the positive Nathan is growing up!  He doesn't really whine much.  He loves to help out with his baby sister.  He is becoming "fun" to talk to.  I am enjoying this 6 year old stage.  He lets me hug and kiss him more.  We still have issues with him "shouting" and getting frustrated easily but not as many.  Just don't ask him to eat a piece of zucchini or he will wage an all out war!  (By the way we won the zucchini war despite much gagging and out right crying over eating ONE bite) 

Emma Grace.  Boy, she is a wild card.  One minute she is loving and affectionate and mature and helpful and the next minute she is a wailing mess of whining and crying in a contorted ball on the floor!  She needs a lot more "discipline" than Nathan does at this point.  She is playing Barbies with her friends and dressing up and the next minute she is climbing a tree or doing something insanely dangerous.  She is our extreme child when it comes to both behavior and what she likes. 

I've heard, she is may just be a tad like I was as a kid.  Reckless.  A whiner.  Doing crazy stuff.  Driving people....dare I say it...nuts!  Hmm  But she loves her mommy and sister (even her  brother) and her Daddy.  She craves affection and approval.  Every day after school she says it was terrible because she missed me. 

Emma is strong willed.  At times it can be good like when she tells her friends, "We do NOT say 'Oh my G-O-D' in this house!"   And other times I shake my head in absolute wonder at her refusal to make her life easy by just obeying.  So far she is doing well in school despite her own reports of it being terrible.  :)

And my little Katelyn Joy.  People asked me what her name is all the time and I say, "Katelyn Joy: and it means 'pure joy.'"  I know the story behind her name and what it means.  Sometimes, I tell people why she is named "pure joy" and how the Lord gave her to us to help our hearts heal after a loss.  Other times I just thank the Lord quietly in my heart. 

Katelyn is such a sweet baby.  She has two teeth coming in on the bottom that have made her a little cranky these days but otherwise she has a great personality.  She loves her brother and sister and gets so excited when they come home from school.  She is very sensitive.  She does not like her daddy's loud laugh and will cry if he laughs too loud.  She startles easily and hates being told "no." 

Everything in sight goes into her mouth!  It's hard with a six and five year old to keep papers and other small toys off the floor.  She doesn't want her mommy to be out of her sight for even a minute!  Katelyn loves to go downstairs and see her daddy during the day and watch what he does on the computer. 

So that's the updates!  I am adding a hymn that was stuck in my head.  Enjoy! 

I Heard The Voice Of Jesus Say

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Come unto Me and rest;
Lay down, thou weary one, lay down Thy head upon My breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was, weary and worn and sad;
I found in Him a resting place, and He has made me glad.

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Behold, I freely give
The living water; thirsty one, stoop down, and drink, and live.”
I came to Jesus, and I drank of that life giving stream;
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived, and now I live in Him.

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “I am this dark world’s Light;
Look unto Me, thy morn shall rise, and all thy day be bright.”
I looked to Jesus, and I found in Him my Star, my Sun;
And in that light of life I’ll walk, till traveling days are done.

Friday, June 1, 2012


Today Chris and I met  with a room full of people.  We met with the school psychologist, the occupational therapist, the physical therapist, and the principle.  And I say room full because it was a small room and with all these people plus us and the kids... the room was full! 

Anyways, we were there just about an hour.  The conclusion is this:

Nathan will no longer receive OT, Occupational Therapy, as he has mastered the skills he set out to achieve in OT.  He can color using more than one color and he no longer just scribbles.  He can use scissors without risking a finger.  His grasp has vastly improved.

Nathan will continue to receive PT to work on balance, endurance, and overall strength.  He will also try and learn to kick a rolling ball as his timing is still too off to appropriately do this. 

Nathan was receiving social skills classes one a month and this will get more intense and he will now receive these skill classes with the psychologist once every cycle which is once every six days.  It has been noted that he is still struggling to interact, react, and behave appropriately with his peers. 

Nathan will go to third grade for reading at what they call a higher tier.  He was at a low tier in third grade and will just go to a higher tier which is harder instead of going to fourth grade. 

They will continue to challenge him with extra work in first grade rather than move him forward a grade to 2nd.  This is being done because he is struggling so much socially. 

Overall we are satisfied with what has been laid out in the 504. 

I know this post has little flair it is more of a quick update for those interested!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Life Moves Foward

It's been a while since I updated but with the arrival of baby Katelyn I have been pretty busy!

Nathan is going to be done with school on June 7th and I can't wait!  I'm ready to have him home again and do some fun things.  I think he did well in school and though he had some struggles I think overall his first year at school went great.

Emma will be starting school in September and boy I will miss her!  She is feisty and funny and loves to help with Katelyn.

The kids have not been jealous of Katelyn.  They lover her.  She is a really great baby and a true joy to have! 

I sometimes look at her and just start crying.  I call her heartbreakingly beautiful.  Strange I know.....  But I look at her and think of our third baby I will not hold here on a earth and also remember without the loss of our third baby I would not have Katelyn.  She is so beautiful and perfect and I can't imagine NOT having her.  I talked to someone recently who told me they had 3 miscarriages.  I can't imagine.  One was beyond hard.... but three? 

Friday we meet with the school psychologist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, and I believe Nathan's teacher for next year.  I am not 100% clear on what we will discuss but I guess we will find out!  Pray for wisdom that we will know what to ask, what to say, and that Nathan will get what he needs. 

So life moves forward.  I am loving this season of my life.  It's busy and exhausting and hectic and sometimes we get dressed out of a laundry basket because I haven't had time to put it away but I am loving it!! 

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Pure Joy

As many know we welcomed our new baby girl, Katelyn Joy, on February 2nd.  For any interested I'll tell you a short version of her birth.  Towards the end of my pregnancy I was told several times I was going to have another big baby and they wanted to deliver her early to make sure she didn't get too big like my other two.  She ended up being 7 lbs 11 oz!  The doctor declared "Average for most but a peanut for you!"

So one week before her due date on 2-2-12 we went to the hospital to be induced.  We had to be there at 7 am... we were a little late... and by 9 am we had done all our paperwork and were in our room.  They started pitocin just after 9 am and my mom arrived shortly after that. 

The contractions didn't pick up right away but soon enough I was in active labor.  We had a small scare when the doctor came to break my water and the baby moved up!  He said he wasn't sure if she was as big as they thought and he also thought she was NOT head down!  They brought in an ultrasound machine and I knew they would say I needed a c-section if she wasn't head down.  But we were all relieved when they ultrasound showed she WAS head down. 

The nurses were great and gave me wireless monitors so I could walk and stand and move freely.  I had to drag my IV around with me but Chris and my mom helped me with that.  I labored mostly standing and also sitting on the edge of my bed.  Chris rubbed my back because unlike with my last two I had a lot of pain in my lower back.  My mom was a constant source of support reminding me that I could do it and that I was doing well and to breathe and not tense up.  I found forcefully blowing out air during a contraction helped me through them the most, although at one point I got dizzy doing this and had to work hard to slow down my breathing.

At just after 3:00 pm I had been in hard labor and I reached that "I want to give up" point.  Chris and my mom were fantastic coaches and so encouraging!  They checked me and said I was only at 7 maybe 8 centimetres and I felt discouraged because now it was very painful.  But not long later as I sat on the edge of the bed I asked my mom to get me a hair tie to put my hair back when a contraction came and I immediately yelled to get the doctor. 

The doctors and nurses came tearing in and Chris said they came so fast that stuff was falling off the cart they were pushing in.  They told me to lay back on the bed but I couldn't move!  They had to help me.  After only four minutes of pushing Katelyn arrived at 3:44 pm.  I stared in awe as I saw her on my stomach and could hardly believe she was here! 

Katelyn means "pure" so her name is pure joy!  We chose this name because after our miscarriage in January 2011 she has brought us much joy after our grief.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This verse really helped us during our times of grief over the loss of our third child.  We knew the Lord knew what He was doing in our lives despite the fact our hearts were so broken.  Though we didn't know the "whys" or even see an "end" to our grief we DID know that Lord would lead us and guide us and ultimately had a plan for us. 

Now, when I stare at Katelyn's little face, caress her tiny feet, feel her small hand grasping mine; I am filled with awe and wonder at the sight of her.  Chris and I always said that we didn't want more than three kids.  When I found out I was pregnant for the third time I knew that according to OUR plans it would be my last time being pregnant and our last child. 

But God's plans were different from our plans.  After the loss of our third child I felt such a desire to be pregnant again.  It was hard and we had a lot of different emotions.  I knew all the plans, hopes, dreams, and even names we had talked about for our third child would never come to fruition.  I would never hold that baby, never give them a proper name, never see what their future would hold.  Miscarriage is not only grievous but also shatters your dreams. 

If things had gone according to OUR plans then Katelyn would never be here.  Without the loss of our third child Katelyn wouldn't be in my arms.  It is strange to think about it this way but also true.  We never planned on a fourth child and yet here she is! 

When I was pregnant with Katelyn I was scared!  I had come to realize how fragile life was and I knew how easy I could go from pregnant to not pregnant and I was scared to lose her!  The verse that the Lord continually spoke to my heart was "Trust in the Lord with all your heart."  And every time fear would grip my heart and thoughts of of loss and grief would fill my mind the Lord would simply respond with "Trust Me!" 

I do still mourn the loss of our third baby and will always wonder what might have been and both Chris and I think it is perfectly normal to feel and think this way.  You never get over a loss of a child either in the womb or outside of the womb.  But I do know that no matter what heartache you face you can have peace if you know the Lord and come to realize that He has a plan for you!

Katelyn has decided she has had enough of me being on the computer.  :)