"I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to give you a hope and a future."

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Monday, May 23, 2011

Keeping Up

* My spell check is still not working so forgive my terrible spelling....anyone know how to fix it?

I started blogging about Nathan to keep family and friends updated and so I could give one easy update to everyone instead of repeating myself on the phone over and over. 

Yet, I always tell myself I'll update my blog later.  Then of course I end up telling 5-6 people the same thing about Nathan and what's happening with him.  So in the end; it will be easier if I just keep this up to date! 

Emma has been complaining her ear hurts but she also has a cold, so it's always hard to tell if it's an ear infection or just pressure from her cold.  She continues to make us laugh and pull our hair out!  What a stubborn and sweet little girl!  We can only hope one day she will be stubbornly grounded in the Word of God!

Update on Nathan:

Nikki did return and she met with Nathan.  She asked if we had a board game so I got out Candy Land.  Nikki played with Emma and Nathan and I watched.  Nathan began to get agitated quickly, he always does with board games.  I asked Nikki if she wanted me to step in as I usually would or to just let Nathan "do his thing."

She said she knew it would be hard but she wanted me to not interfere as much as possible. 

What unfolded in the next hour was both eye opening and sad.  Nathan had tantrum after tantrum and would run off to his room and yell and cry.  He shouted at Emma and was devasted when he lost the game and gloated and was rude when he won.  He ignored Nikki with she said "I'm so sad I am not winning," and showed no empathy or concern. 

Normally I am there to stop the tantrums before they happen.  I diffuse Nathan.  So sitting back and just letting him go was interesting and saddening to see how often these tantrums happened.  It also opened my eyes to realize how often, sometimes without realizing it, I am diffusing Nathan through out a day.  It is exhausting.   It makes me wonder what will happen at school when I am not there.

There is such much we could worry or stress about when it comes to Nathan but I know there is little point in worrying the day away.  My time would be so much better spent in prayer.  Don't you think?

Nikki said she appreciated me letting her "see" Nathan.  I told her she was the first person who has been working with Nathan to ever really see him the way we as a family see him.  We've gotten good at hiding and diffusing. 

Chris admitted to me the other day he always tells people that Nathan has a very mild form of Aspergers.  I told him I said the same.  It is our defense.  It's easier.  It gets less questions if we say it's mild.  People don't usually understand.  They say, "He's fine" "Are you sure?" "Really?" "He's normal!"  "He's great!"  

I said to Nikki I just wish sometimes people could spend a day with my family and see what REALLY goes on.  She said many parents feel alone and feel like people just don't understand.  In some ways I guess it's a good thing people don't see what we see. 

I also found it interesting when my parents were here and we went out to eat.  They sat us at a table right next to the door where people come in and go out and next to candy and toy machines.  Nathan wouldn't eat.  I had to feed him.  He was too busy looking at all the people and listening to the noise and talking about the candy machines.  I felt ok with my parents there.  I didn't need to explain why I was feeding my five year old son.  I had two choices.  Feed him.  Or not feed him.  If I didn't feed him he would have never eaten and he would have been hungry. 

Today was challenging.  With rising food prices we are definately shopping around more.  We went to two grocery stores today.  After we got home I had to put the groceries away.  The kids had lost their TV priviledges at the grocery store for misbehaving.  After I put the groceries away I made the kids lunch and lunch for Chris and I. Next I had to empty the dishwasher and vacuum and clean because Nathan's OT would be coming soon!

His OT arrived about an hour and a half after we got back from the store. 

Tomorrow is Physical Therapy.  Wednesday will hopefully be a play date.  Thursday is social group and Nikki will be there to observe Nathan.  I can't even remeber what Friday is supposed to be.

Now I have a splitting headache so I am off to bed!

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