Can't Believe I wrote that

I have finished the edit of Book One- which is named Remembering Our Love. I have now started editing book 2. This is called Hope Has Crosses. Or Hope's Crosses...iffy on which one I want to use.

Anyways, I wrote Hope Has Crosses in 2007. I wanted to write this book but I was sort of afraid. I kept saying,"What would people think?" "Is it over the top?" Then I decided I would write this book without holding back. I would not ask myself what people might think. I was going to go for it.

Now re-reading the book again I caught myself taking a big breath after the first chapter and going, "Whoa. This is intense." I wrote it. I know. But it's been a while since I wrote it and read it and part of me wondered again.....is it too much for Christian fiction?

It's not a pretty picture painted of the main character Julia. She is down and out. She does everything in the book that any Christian would gasp at. Yet, I wrote this book with a heart that said, "Life is not a fairy tale. Yes, I grew up in a Christian home with a loving family and had a nice life. But so many others have not." Your heart will break for Julia as she reaches the edge. My own heart broke so many times writing the story. I believe this book and book three were the hardest stories I have ever written.

To some it may seem silly but if my heart is not in my books and invested in my characters how can I ask anyone else to invest their hearts into my books? I want to write life changing fiction. I want people to read my stories and say, "Whoa."

I make sure the gospel message is clear in every book so if someone who is unsaved ever picks one up then they have a clear presentation of the gospel.

And for believers I would hope my book would offer encouragement, stronger faith, and an adoration for a God who would save the most unlovable of us all.

Inhaler Nerd

Not too much in life annoys me. People smacking gum annoys me. The car beeping because your keys are in it and the door is open annoys me. But they are small things. I know. I don't tend to be one of these people who will get all up in arms over something. I am generally a very happy person and I like to make people laugh and I like to have a good time.

I also like movies. I like action movies mostly. Don't ask me why. I just do. But even more than a poorly delivered line or a crocodinosaur or a man eating slug or something insane like that; the thing in movies that annoys me is the fact that if there is an asthmatic in a movie then they are a nerd or a wimp or weak or a loser.

I know. What does it matter? Well, in this world of Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and blogging there comes a freedom to express ourselves or tell our friends what we just ate or to make big announcements all for the public to see. So why can't I express my annoyance over this matter?

I challenge people to name ONE movie in which there was someone with asthma and they were strong or the main character or not a pitiful weakling sucking on an inhaler at the first sight of a bully.

First of all, I have asthma. I've had it pretty much since I was born. It's gotten better as I have gotten older. I used to be embarrassed about my asthma, thanks to a very unkind principle. I was the kid always puffing on an inhaler or taking breathing treatments just so I could get a breath of air. I spent time in the back of ambulances and in hospitals being given steroids when I couldn't breath. But in no way do I consider myself a wimp or a nerd.

I was able to participate in sports like softball, soccer, cheer leading, and golf. I rode my bike, I ran.

Will I get up in arms over the fact that people with asthma are often portrayed in movies as weaklings or nerds? No. It doesn't really bother me....just annoys me. :o)

Just once I would like to see a macho man with asthma or a tough guy or a tough girl for that matter. I know football players who have asthma...o.k. so not personally but I know there are some...at least I am pretty sure.....

Anyways, if you can find ONE movie, ONE character, who has had asthma in a movie and NOT been the weakling, the wimp, the nerd...then let me know. I am very interested to see if there are any. I've never seen one.

I forgot

This week I started back at the gym. For the longest time going to the gym was a given. I went even when I did not feel like it. But for months now it has been an off and on kind of thing. I would still go for a walk or do a video at home but I was not really getting that intense workout like I would at the gym.
So Monday came and I told my husband I was going to go to the gym. That night after I put the kids in bed I did not want to go. I was tired. It had been a long day and sitting on the couch and watching t.v. or just talking with Chris sounded great to me. As a matter fact it had become a habit as of late to do these things.
I went anyways.
I loved it! I forgot how good it feels to get your heart pumping, to listen to my music and tune out the world and tune into my body.
I forgot how fun it is to get on the treadmill and run!
I was not planning on running Monday. Any runner knows that unless you keep running then it's like starting over. When I was running all the time last year I could run a 8 minute mile. That was fantastic for me! But when I got the on the treadmill a song came on my MP3 that I used to always run to. And before I knew it was I running.
I hit a mental block after like 3 minutes- no joke. My head said, "You can't run. It's been too long. This is hard. My shins hurt. You don't need to run. Just stop." Then I found that zone. You know? The zone where everything in your head that says, "You can't" gets turned off and your stride is perfect and your step is perfect and your breathing is perfect. Needless to say I only ran a mile on Monday but it was a good mile, if that makes sense.
I enjoyed it. I loved it! Even though my poor sneakers have way too many miles on them and the tread is actually coming away from the bottom of my shoe.....hmmm I need new sneakers.
I also remembered why I loved running in the first place. It just feels good! It's fun. And I missed it. Besides, in some ways it's like being a kid again. You get to go fast! ha ha
Anyways, I was able to go to the gym on Tuesday, I did not run though. I did a lot of weights and then cardio on the elliptical. I plan on going tonight and you know what? I am looking forward to going tonight. :o)