"I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to give you a hope and a future."

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Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Nathan had physical therapy today and a new therapist was working with him.  At the end of his session he was tired and angry.  He usually is.  But his therapist asked me if anyone had ever told us Nathan needed orthotics in his shoes due to his arch collapsing and throwing him off balance.


Yes, we were told this already but due to certain circumstances we never followed through.

Long story short:  Tomorrow night Chris and I have to take Nathan to Trappe again and have him fitted for orthotics and HOPEFULLY our insurance will pay for these. 

After his fitting we have to get a script from his doctor and after that we have to see if insurance will pay for these.  Not sure how long this process will take but I am sure it will take some time!

Nathan worked so hard at therapy and was so worn out I got him a Philly pretzel on the way home.  He loves those. 

Monday, May 23, 2011

Keeping Up

* My spell check is still not working so forgive my terrible spelling....anyone know how to fix it?

I started blogging about Nathan to keep family and friends updated and so I could give one easy update to everyone instead of repeating myself on the phone over and over. 

Yet, I always tell myself I'll update my blog later.  Then of course I end up telling 5-6 people the same thing about Nathan and what's happening with him.  So in the end; it will be easier if I just keep this up to date! 

Emma has been complaining her ear hurts but she also has a cold, so it's always hard to tell if it's an ear infection or just pressure from her cold.  She continues to make us laugh and pull our hair out!  What a stubborn and sweet little girl!  We can only hope one day she will be stubbornly grounded in the Word of God!

Update on Nathan:

Nikki did return and she met with Nathan.  She asked if we had a board game so I got out Candy Land.  Nikki played with Emma and Nathan and I watched.  Nathan began to get agitated quickly, he always does with board games.  I asked Nikki if she wanted me to step in as I usually would or to just let Nathan "do his thing."

She said she knew it would be hard but she wanted me to not interfere as much as possible. 

What unfolded in the next hour was both eye opening and sad.  Nathan had tantrum after tantrum and would run off to his room and yell and cry.  He shouted at Emma and was devasted when he lost the game and gloated and was rude when he won.  He ignored Nikki with she said "I'm so sad I am not winning," and showed no empathy or concern. 

Normally I am there to stop the tantrums before they happen.  I diffuse Nathan.  So sitting back and just letting him go was interesting and saddening to see how often these tantrums happened.  It also opened my eyes to realize how often, sometimes without realizing it, I am diffusing Nathan through out a day.  It is exhausting.   It makes me wonder what will happen at school when I am not there.

There is such much we could worry or stress about when it comes to Nathan but I know there is little point in worrying the day away.  My time would be so much better spent in prayer.  Don't you think?

Nikki said she appreciated me letting her "see" Nathan.  I told her she was the first person who has been working with Nathan to ever really see him the way we as a family see him.  We've gotten good at hiding and diffusing. 

Chris admitted to me the other day he always tells people that Nathan has a very mild form of Aspergers.  I told him I said the same.  It is our defense.  It's easier.  It gets less questions if we say it's mild.  People don't usually understand.  They say, "He's fine" "Are you sure?" "Really?" "He's normal!"  "He's great!"  

I said to Nikki I just wish sometimes people could spend a day with my family and see what REALLY goes on.  She said many parents feel alone and feel like people just don't understand.  In some ways I guess it's a good thing people don't see what we see. 

I also found it interesting when my parents were here and we went out to eat.  They sat us at a table right next to the door where people come in and go out and next to candy and toy machines.  Nathan wouldn't eat.  I had to feed him.  He was too busy looking at all the people and listening to the noise and talking about the candy machines.  I felt ok with my parents there.  I didn't need to explain why I was feeding my five year old son.  I had two choices.  Feed him.  Or not feed him.  If I didn't feed him he would have never eaten and he would have been hungry. 

Today was challenging.  With rising food prices we are definately shopping around more.  We went to two grocery stores today.  After we got home I had to put the groceries away.  The kids had lost their TV priviledges at the grocery store for misbehaving.  After I put the groceries away I made the kids lunch and lunch for Chris and I. Next I had to empty the dishwasher and vacuum and clean because Nathan's OT would be coming soon!

His OT arrived about an hour and a half after we got back from the store. 

Tomorrow is Physical Therapy.  Wednesday will hopefully be a play date.  Thursday is social group and Nikki will be there to observe Nathan.  I can't even remeber what Friday is supposed to be.

Now I have a splitting headache so I am off to bed!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Short & Sweet

Please forgive any spelling errors as my spell check seems to not be working! Uh oh!

I have been too busy to update much but the meeting with Nikki went really well.

Nathan is now "officially" diagnosed with Aspergers with a possible sensory disorder as well. (Could be why he gets so overwhelmed in large groups)

We were at Greenwood Hills, a camp, over the weekend. Emma had a great time and now wants to live there. She went right into the nursery and loved it.

Nathan went to the children's meeting and the first time was a disaster. Chris found him sitting with one of the adults on the couch, shut down, and a mess. They said he lost it after about five minutes and wouldn't calm down to go back in. We felt really bad and didn't want Nathan to be a distraction to the other kids. We did explain about his Aspergers and they insisted that we could try with him again. They were great with him.

I wanted to give up and just let him sit with us but Chris said he should try again. So we did and Nathan did great for the next few meetings! YAY! He also did really well when they had a late night snack in a room that got pretty loud. It didn't seem to bother him. Once he falls into a "routine" he seems to take things better.

He ran around trying to tell everyone what they should be doing, shouldn't be doing, and shouting, and trying to control everyone. Thankfully there were some boys and girls who seemed to accept his quirky self and played with him and even helped him get to the kid's meetings.

Tomorrow, Nikki, will return and meet Nathan. I don't know exactly what she is going to do. It's called a FBA or functional behavioral analysis. She will pretty much follow him around a while.

In the end she will determine what help and services we will end up getting.

That's it for now!

Busy week. Play date with a friend today.

Remember to keep praying for Ning Tan, Trey Love, and Terri Blount. I've included a few links below.

Monday, May 9, 2011


Tomorrow a woman named Nikki will come to our home and tell us what the psychiatrist thinks about Nathan.  This should be a old hat to us.  It will be the third time we have done this. 

Part of me feels like just being done with it all!  Maybe I don't need to hear what she has to say.  Maybe I don't want to know what that psychiatrist thinks about my little guy.  Maybe I think we are doing just fine by Nathan. 

But the other part of me says, "We need help!"  There are days when Nathan does fine and he seems like any typical five year old.  There are others days when we feel like we just don't "get him" and his strange way of thinking. 

He is our little nutty professor.  He can talk about things that most twenty year oldsdon't know and memorize huge amounts of information.  But then he can't figure out simple things.  He lacks common sense.  He gets so easily frustrated and wants to give up on everything!  He gets so anxious.  We want help with that.  We want him to cope with these frustrations he feels.  We don't want him to end up in tears several times a day about "small" things.

So we trudge forward. 

I am not nervous about tomorrow.  I am weary thinking about tomorrow. 

We want what is best for Nathan.  We want to help.  We do not want to over-diagnose.  We don't want to force him into a cookie cutter shape of what someone else things he should be. 

Tell me how to help him when he is surrounded by people and he shuts down or panics or just cries.  Tell me how to help him have fun at events.  Tell me how to teach him to cope better with his many frustrations.  But don't tell me how to raise him. 

All I can say is, "Bring it on."

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Check this out

I found this video about Aspergers very interesting.

It is about a man who has Aspergers and gives some insight into what it might be like for people with Aspergers.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Time for an update!

As you know Nathan had gone to Creative Services for an eval and today I finally got a call back!

Unfortunately she did not have his papers in front of her and still could not tell me what the psychiatrist said! Grr.  But she said there was a definite diagnosis but she couldn't remember what is was! Go figure.

Anyways, Tuesday, a woman named Nikki will come to the house, (yay for not using gas to go somewhere!) and talk to me and go over the eval and gather information.  Next she was observe Nathan at home and at school and gather data.  After that she can tell us what services he would need. 

Please also remember to hold up in prayer those who really need it right now!  Terri Blount, mother to ten, battling cancer.  Trey Love, who is so sick from his chemo.  He has been throwing up and his parents have had to re-insert his tube down his poor little throat.  Ning Tan, who has made some progress.  And so many others! 

Sunday, May 1, 2011


After church this morning we came home and ate Supper. 

We had leftover grilled chicken, plaintains, saifun noodles, and cauliflower and carrots.  Yumm.

After supper we went to YMCA because they were having a fun day for the kids.  They had a petting zoo outside and then inside their gym they had a moonbounce, face painting and lots of vendors giving away books, toys, balloons, and even Philly pretzels. 

Nathan did really well even though it was crowded.  He did start to get agitated after about half an hour and started to really cling to Chris.  Nathan also tends to loose focus and starts zoning out and wandering off and just spacing out.  It's hard to keep him out of other's people's way and make sure he keeps follwing us. 

But overall, Nathan did really well.  The kiddos had fun.  Tomorrow, Nathan has OT and Tuesday I was supposed to go back to Creative Services to sign paperwork but it's also our last Ladie's meeting so I need to call and reschudule!

You're up to date!  Some pics below.